Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
She told me I should be a condom model.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
