their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
