So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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