Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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