let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
