ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
