everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Randomize
