my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
