is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
