Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
