he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
