Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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