Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
