Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
areolas are like halos for boobs.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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