I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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