a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
