they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Randomize
