Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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