the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
