Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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