I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
