I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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