Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
