Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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