either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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