It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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