i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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