why didn't you poke me back
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Who died my cat blue again?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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