I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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