He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
