theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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