I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
