you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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