Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
