This girl is more easily done than said...
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
