she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i think i have herpe
just one?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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