u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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