oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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