Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
