I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
