My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
