I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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