OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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