Non-Jews are for practice
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
