Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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