it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
