i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
