dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Randomize
