Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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