my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
as a side note pls kill me
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