if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
