hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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