at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
