I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
