ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
