I can tuck mytits in my pants
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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