Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize