A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
